Cowardice, Regret


The advent of being in a department of a multinational organisation simply intrigued me of the people that I was going to meet, and the work that I was about to face. 

I was late, a incorrigible stigma that was deeply implanted inside me, I preferred to reach at a place right on the dot, and not to waste any extra time before that. Four pairs of eyes bored into my very presence when I busted into the room without even knocking. "Sorry for the lateness." I muttered meekly under my bated breath, briefly scanned through the vicinity before taking a seat.

A particularly sweet caramel complexion frosted with a little preeminence in the room caught my very eyes. My heart was surging the hormones into my bloodstream, Get to know her! It was a command from myself. After the meeting, I did not pay much attention to the interviewers as my attention was mostly pivoted to her. 

We chatted, I got to know more about her during our walk back to our newly assigned places in the office, she sat right at the opposite of me, Jackpot! My mind wandered into reverie about us, but something stopped me from acting, it was myself, my cowardice, and my regret.

The opportunities were not laid there, I did not know her for long, my mind kept budging me to make a move to approach her, asking her out for lunch, something along those lines, but there was an invisible barrier that negated my fortitude to pour over my actions. I thought about the repercussions, and how ugly things would deteriorate into if I screw things over, again.

Pain of regret, reinforced my cowardice, I was scared to mess up, to create a superfluous convoluted concussion. 

Go ask her for an opinion. "No." 

Make her a morning joe. "No."

Fall for her. "NO."

"Perhaps a regular greet, mutual 'hi's and 'bye's won't hurt..." my train of thoughts came to a conclusion. I was a coward, I was scared to expose myself to her, to get to know her even more, to mix with her group of friends, to be brave, to not fear the pain of regret. I discarded the thought of approaching her, maybe just be someone mutual would be okay... the pang of uncertainty hit my like a truck. 

I did nothing, plain nothingness.

Waiting silently, for my cowardice to culminate into a ramification of an anguish regret.

Weaved by: Zeckrom Bryan

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